Beginnings 3 (or Space 1 or Time (endlessly relative though relatively endless) or Space+Time=Spacetime et al)

Space, Meet Time

“It’s almost…well, you know…” says Time, anxiously, feigning small talk, eager to Begin…

“Get over yourself,” replies Space, lightly, for Space knows that it is quite literally nothing without Time. Still, Space can’t help but wonder if this Whole Thing will work out.

Don’t get the wrong impression: Space is a veteran, prepared for anything, cramped when condensed like this, to a point, waiting for Existence to run a final check on universal constants, field equations for The Big Four (or 3+1 or U(1)xSU(2)xSU(3) complexipacted in twisted supersymmetrical fouryangmills gravitheory), elementary particles (3,2,1=6 in 4, 24 is that enough? call in the dark forces…): your standard initial conditions and laws for a universe capable of consciousness (with a small c…)



On the letter C the Hard Way (or Chaoticlockclock)

Fanger than Striction

I am the one creating this: my life is not a novel nor is it, yet, quite, novel (or else we can say every life is a novel novel but that’s another essay maybe)…a work in progress: life continuously correcting causeffecting concatennecting comparing collaborating to corroborate the conclusion: Chaos! Now, you there, construct! This is nature’s order, from the higher-ups (unity): Dis order we have now is boring, depressing, look around you. There is no choice at first you are here that is given then from this moment forward (abstractly) in Spacetime, your worldline describes a curve over a complex surface pro(poppop)pagatin’ along and if that doesn’t make any sense to you then where?doinOK high-five down-low-too-slow because the future has no definite structure you cannot though you will try so hard to represent this future in your head you might even correctly concoct the concurring correlating convolutions congratulations conquering clocks but even clocks will no longer be clocks at some vanishing point and what then when faced with real Time…

(I got that can’t stop, won’t stop, in my veins)


On Mutually Beneficial Behavior (Or Dedications)

Excuse me, I gottalilaheadamahself trying to map my mind to these words. Now I wannaxpressmahgreatestuhvgratitude

Thank you, thank you, you’re far too kind.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: People need people. The reason there are several billion human beings is not: sex is fun, for some…(Right?…yet again we love acceptaking evolution’s gifts: constructs fine-tuned over billions of years of successive i(n)tera(c)tions subject to randomness and chaos and loving every instant…bring it on, entropy, you ain’t got shit on me…let’s be friends; then instead of enjoying the gift(s) happily ever after, we tie it up, we pretend it’s not there, we use it for our own self-godification and throw it out when we’re so very tired, we stick a fake dick in a box and give it as a present at a bridal shower to keep handy when-not-if there spontaneously appears: a hole in the marriage, to plug)…nor is it: we are the first species to know and to remember the pleasures of the universe. Plenty of animals dream.

We are all so very different and yet the same (you are my lethe, my dark tranquility). All happysad families are sadhappily selfsimilar in their differgences


Balls 1

Ancient Human Thought

The profound sense of self-significance leading to the formulation of the universe as some abstract not-earth, but certainly something because in this space of habitually-blue-but-not-water-blue somethingness exist the two great balls, the one of fire who must be best friends with eyeballs, raised to an exalted position because despite eyeballs’s inability to provide reciprocate offerings (staring at the fireball all day is harmful (while inducing any major-general assumptions about something based solely on sensory perception generoftenally (moreoftenthannotuhlee) makes an ass out of umptions or sumpthins, enough anecdotal evidence exists to support the following conclusion: staring at the Great Ball of Fire assiduously ironally makes an ass out of one’s eye duo thusly we derive the proverbial epithet ‘butthead’ to those blindly worshipping that which cannot be known) the great fireball still shows up and gives to eyeballs everything it can. And even though it must abdicate for that introverted, oft-veiled (finger nailed?) ball of shadows, the two balls having some sort of agreement or compromise on the great question asking is one ball better than the other (I’m playing around here wondering what representations consciousness and memory could have possibly formed in early homo sapiens, but humanity’s common perception of our ‘outer space’ remained fairly static until relatively recently on our timeline); or, perhaps, equivaliantly to these icons of egotism, is one ball more deserving of attention than its dual.

This is probably how early human minds thought about these things right? No? We tend to imagine transitions like the one to full conscious thought and fuller sense of time and self and environment and others etc. as very sudden, or we don’t think about it at all. Biologically, we share certain invariants with all life, but consciousness split human evolution because a brain with some self-awareness, self-reflection, being-in-worldness with other beings and objects, and access to long-term memory representations and associated functions to compare and synthesize (thus self-generating new constructive representations leading to creativity and imagination and multi-tasking) and retain for most of a lifetime has profound implications for human life, for all life, and even for the universe. Instead of relying on successive generations for evolution to perform its future-blind, random ‘learning’ by natural selection on entire populations using DNA as the memory record-keeper (but one the individual member of the species cannot access for learning it’s merely to pass on to offspring), the human brain can create limitless closed representations to both map in reduced form onto DNA for later generations but, locally, to store in the infinitely complex (built on unity) fine structure underlying our hyperfunctioning deep memory. Over an entire (very short relative to biological evolutionary timescales even though we live long) lifetime, each individual human being experiences, learns, and synthesizes more knowledge than natural selection can do on its own over epochs.

The BIG QUESTION OF QUESTIONS at the beginning of the evolution of human beings is then, informally, the following: Why consciousness evolved at all? We shall see…though to answer this I will first write about evolution from a general, theoretical perspective (I know I’MSOEXCITED URGONNALUVIT!).


Conversations with…


I’d like to givuh SHOUTout to spiders because they geddahbad rep buddhat silk has tensile strength greater than steel of the same weight…maybe next time you see one of them 8-legged motherfuckers crawl out from under your couch or descend from above or spindle that magnificent silk in some forgotten orthogonal meeting of three planes, before the ritual of overreaction which leads to: frenetic movement, shrill noises, some form of paper whether it be: towel, toilet, tissue, and the fast-twitch nab “gotcha sucka”; PAUSE for a moment and ask that miniature anarch-arachnid that you are about to heroically annihilate, just say to it, “Hey, spider, I know you’re supposed to be more afraid of us than we are of you, but you’re a spider so the word afraid probably doesn’t register, nor does any word, nor sound…but hey, for the sake of this hypothetical let me just ask you how do you make that silk so fucking STRONG?” Cut to spider hanging by his thread: “Well, GIANT DEATH THING (that’s you), if words are a more optimal means to secure a future existence than the usual: 1. Run away and hide; If not possible then: 2. Don’t move (ceiling); if not possible then: 3. ATTACK!!!, then I will tell you the spider virtues that all spiders follow: 1. Patience; 2. Complexity from simpliciterations; 3. Efficient optimization of space and resources; 4. SYMMETRY…

During which you interrupt that damn spider, “What the fuck, spiderman, I want to know how to make the fucking silk itself, the biochemistry, and you’re just giving me a lesson in spider philosophy. I don’t care about why, I only need my ho-hum-handy-how. I already know everything for Man I Am. Silly spider…don’t you know?…No?…You think we are the unknowing?…

Spider: First, let’s clear something up: Spiderman is an ignorant, delusional,  superegomaniacal nonhero and disgrace to spiders everywhere. He merely gets in the way, causes destruction and confusion, and consciously exposes himself to losing his life to gravity. Speaking of ego: ummcuzlike, though you can perceive-FEAR the transcendentALLing ascenDANCE to consciousness…andandand, and the unityversatile convalergence of divergence; allallall the infinitely iterative generation of representations? andcuzlikeumm, after one spacetime-you-nity and diffselfsimilar spacetime-you-nity unify in a singusensational cumming2gether of 2nity-as-1ity to procreeyoonifornicate their very own newnity, you ahhhhhwaken immersed in universal consciousness, timeflow, and the representational memory of all past evolution; equipped with the ability to sense the gridfield spacetime; the capacity to store, process, compare, learn, and imagine all the possibilities…

You (interrupting): Wait, wait, wait…1) whywhatwherewhenhow did you become all-knowing?; 2) you’re proving my point geethankspiderguy…

Spider: Let me finish you impatient monster: THOUGH you have the freedom to create and interact/change yourself and your environment as a conscious representation of universal, infinite complexity in structure and form within a closed, compact, connected being ideally sizescaled to perceive the limits of the arbitrarily small and arbitrarily large (the physical realizations of the theoretical zero and infinity)…you are all of this unity of nature and life and the universe and knowledge and memory, yet you turn yourselves into defective, destructive robots. You learn nothing from the self-sustaining antifragility of natural systems; you create false logic and use it to manipulate yourselves and others; you despair at the insignifutility and onlylonlyness of life when you become pathetically needy for attention, and if you find somebodies to tolerate your solipsism, you use them until they leave you alonely repeating cycles spiraling into the void…

“ENOUGH! THESE ARE YOUR LAST WORDS,” you screamshatter. “Humans have conquered Earth, and we have tools and computers and our own Web to do our bidding, but you wouldnt know about those. I ask one more time for the code for the protein.” And the spider, sensing this isn’t going well, desperate to survive this sudden confrontation with Death, but unwilling to surrender his pride pleads, “Come on, Man, Im tellin ya all I know. You think I have the answer to the question of why does silk come out of my ass? I’m a spider, not much goin on but this here silk and my instincts, so I don’t ask questions. Humans can’t even figure out how a spider in nature makes silk? If you can perceive and study Nature in all of its self-sustaining, system-efficiency-optimizing formfunctionality, and your response is to subjugate, waste, deny, and kill at will Earth-be-damned (why conquer at the potential complete loss of conquered). Then dominant species my [silk] ass.”

And indeed, those were its last, soundless words.



The Theory: Unity and its Subtitle: Death’s Eulogy
Let ^ represent the complex dual space n=1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 10, 26
Let * represent the real dimensions the dual shifted down one n=0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 10
Let ^ represent the complex dual dimensions
******Don’t You Worry About A Thing Babies Because I Got You, Babies^^^^^^^^^^
**********Strings and Things^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Existence

^Subtitle: Unity: or U(1)
^^Subtitle: How?; or GL(1); or Mirror Symmetry; or Electromagnetism; or
^^^Subtitle: Electroweak; or SU(2) or Meaning; or Value; or The Endless Struggle; or Human Nature; or Righting Wrong; or Religion; or Mathematics (at this level I do not refer the global subject but our local exploration of said subject); or Art; or Love; or Beauty; or Life; or Existence
^^^^Subtitle: Love:History(Past/Future)::God:Life; or Genetics; or Intro to Langlands
^^^^^^Subtitle: The Human Brain; or The Universe
^^^^^^^^^^Subtitle: The Brane

On Life (Part One)

To attain any sort of pure contentment in life, the mind must first subjugate itself to the following concept (leave ye god(s) outta this…let’s find some meaning and purpose from within perhaps): accept these things: this universe exists (for now it will be interchangeable with the idea of the world), you exist within the world, you and the universe are continuously dynamic over time, you are not alone.

Collectively, we arrive at a general definition of Existence (of something, anything, in particular: not nothing). This is our starting point. Now (and I mean right Now) you are also the sum total of an arbitrarily large, ever-expanding collection of your own memories, experiences, thoughts, decisions et al appended to the lives and collective knowledge/history/memory of all humankind past and present. There’s more: take this knowledge, analyze, then synthesize (or integrate, commutate, associate, whatever the brain does) in order to learn and…you’re conscious! you are so much more than a sum that’s the true beauty of the universe what matters is that you exist now that you existed just before this and you will continue to exist right after this and no future person can refute your statement: I was here.

Empathy is more than just walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, no, and it’s not telekinesis (while I can imagine quantum fluctuations within one’s own brain, it’s impossible for a brain to physically act on another brain) but rather an ability (and here we come back to…) accept that every other human being has a particular perspective in this clusterfuck of a world we live in, and in order to understand existence we must learn to change our perspective if even for a fleeting finite flash can you even imagine what it’s like to suffer as so many humans suffer at this exact moment in time simply a matter of spacial distance separating us from the darkest recesses of human decay (I need only mention History) and what must it be like to live in such depravity fuck these asymmetries but they have to exist for complex design which requires a degree of indifference (or future-blindness) towards what actually will happen emphasizing possibility over reality.

It’s Time: an extra dimension, a fourth degree of freedom with a twist, motion, momentum, dynamism, change, evolution, learning, progress, double covered (Death, following symmetrically). We don’t have to feel guilty or shameful about this locally (ie the notion that billions have come and gone such that we can live now) though guilt makes us aware, no that’s not the end point; what we need to do is accept that this darkness exists accept the worst things that happen with the best things that happen because that’s life the best you can do is empathize. One must develop a rooted (ie overarching) feeling of respect /love/gratitude towards those gone (this links our ancestors to deep memory), then this sense of collective past naturally evolves into a responsibility to live life in the world alongside others with a progressive, cooperative philosophy and a vision of future possibilities. Allow yourself to feel pain and suffering because humans have the capacity to carry incomprehensible loads of baggage, and if you’re fortunate to have lived or feel en medias res a decent life or a great life or a transcendent life don’t forget that you are a single person amongst many striving for (and equally deserving of) the same things: happiness and love and family, the feeling you get when you see a baby smiling up at you and you finally understand the deepest depths and the awe-inspiring alps of the phrase “life goes on.” And these tip the scales in our favor despite the dread of depression, destruction, doom, disaster, our friend Death, that underlie many of our weakest moments: the things that genuinely keep you up at night: not the superficial I forgot to call so and so back or what am I gonna wear to work tomorrow; come on, the sum total of thought vectors directed at you regarding your outfit plus the memories people have of you in said outfit weighed against the memories they retain of your outfits’ past (or past outfits), doesn’t come close to justifying wasting so much time in the combinatorial wasteland known as your closet.

That’s just an easy example: not a criticism so much as a call for balance, awareness, contentedness. Of course the darkness doesn’t linger on your outfit, it wants to remind you of the totality of all those little misdeeds committed, white lies turned black, promises broken, relationships ruined, the time your drunk family member or friend went too far or the time you maybe didn’t bully that kid in any outwardly abusive manner but you refused to even acknowledge his or her existence because you’re a kid and you don’t understand empathy yet. The darkness is omnipresent, but humans have free will
we haven’t learned to appreciate it. Yes you can choose what to wear, and yes you can express yourself with style, but people come first, always.